Finding the silver lining

This has been heavy on my mind today, as it is most days…so I thought I would blog about it a little.  Maybe it will put it in perspective for me, but right know I kind of doubt it.  I don’t want to sound like a whiner, but I want to whine, so I will.  I hate this small town that I live in.  Some days I tolerate it, other days I don’t like it so much, but most days I hate it.  And right now there is not anything else that I can think of that I “hate”.  So it is a strong emotion at the moment, to say the least. 

I haven’t always lived in this small town, thank God.  I grew up in a city, went to college in a city, and then transfered to a college in a very large city.  When we got married we stayed in that large city for four years, moved back to the city that I grew up in, and three years ago….we moved to this small town.  I must say it was not because we were tired of city life and looking for a place where we didn’t have to lock our doors.  We moved here for a job opportunity for my husband.  A great job, that he loves, in a small town that I hate.  I thought at first it would be a fun change of pace.  I am always up for change- I love new surroundings, but I saw all there was to see in about a week.

Most people that live in small towns very long, know that everyone knows everyone’s business.  I don’t like people in my business.  My business is not that interesting.  I don’t think the clerk at the convenience store should know if my daughter has chicken pox or not.  But she did and I know I didn’t tell her.  It is this thing where you ask someone, “How are you”? and they respond with everything that they know at the moment about everyone they know.  It is an invitation to TMI – Too Much Information. 

My husband likes this small town.  He lived here from first grade until he went to college.  But even he has said that it’s not the same living here as an adult as it was when he was a kid.  I guess it has it’s perks;

• you can be anywhere in 10 minutes
• ok, I am trying to think of something else…
• and I can’t.

Besides the fact that it is small and you see the same faces everywhere you go, it also smells.  It smells like raw chicken and in the summer when it is warm at night it smells like chicken pot pie.  Not good chicken pot pie either.  There is a chicken factory, but we don’t live near it…but then again you can be anywhere in 10 minutes.  And the smell of raw chicken must travel far.

So here I am, me, in this small town.  No exit in sight, trying not to be a whiner- but also trying not to lose my mind.  Content, content, content.  I keep saying to myself it is not where you are but who you are.  Focus on your family around you.  Look for the good every situation.  Find the silver lining.  And it doesn’t matter that it smells like raw chicken outside, you don’t smell like raw chicken inside.   It all sounds great, but it is not working.

So what am I to do?  I have made my husband promise me one thing.  He had to promise that he would not bury me in this small town…because that goes far beyond what a wife should have to do.